THEBUTTJUG
The portable bidet built for men who refuse to settle for subpar hygiene. Because real warriors don't bring a knife to a gunfight—or dry paper to a hairy situation.
CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON
Select Size
The Standard Issue
300mlPerfect for daily ops. Compact, reliable, gets the job done.
The Magnum
500mlFor the man who needs extra firepower. Extended capacity for extended missions.
The Big Unit
750mlAbsolute unit. For those who don't believe in half-measures.
Add Extra Mag
Extra Mag
Backup bottle for home, office, or travel
$14.99 each
Free shipping over $50 • 30-day money-back guarantee
SUFFERING FROM HBS?
Hairy Butt Syndrome affects millions of men worldwide. It's not a disease—it's a design feature. But that doesn't mean you have to suffer.
Signs You May Have HBS
THE SOLUTION IS CLEAR
Precision Cleaning
Hair traps everything. Water reaches where paper fears to tread. Achieve true clean in even the most challenging terrain.
Reduced Irritation
Stop the endless wiping that turns your backside into sandpaper. Water is gentle. Your skin will thank you.
Eco-Warrior Status
The average American uses 100 rolls of TP per year. Cut that by 80% and save trees while saving your behind.
Confidence Boost
Walk into any meeting knowing you're operating at 100% hygiene capacity. That's power.
"IT'S LIKE A SHOWER
FOR YOUR A**."
— Every Butt Jug owner, probably
FIELD REPORTS
"As a fellow HBS sufferer, this thing changed my life. My wife says I'm a new man. She doesn't know about The Butt Jug though. That's between me and the bathroom."
Mike D.
Austin, TX
"Bought The Magnum because I'm not a Standard Issue kind of guy. Best $35 I've ever spent. Take that, fancy Japanese toilet."
Chad T.
Miami, FL
"Got two Extra Mags—one for the office, one for my gym bag. I'm clean everywhere I go. Colleagues ask why I'm so confident. If they only knew."
Dave R.
Seattle, WA
"My buddy told me about this and I laughed. Then I tried it. I'm not laughing anymore. I'm just clean."
Brian K.
Denver, CO